Monday, August 12, 2013

You're My Favorite Thing To Study

You rise, and fall, in and out,
Inhale, exhale.
I count your breaths
As you dream.
I study your face.
I see that your closed eyelids 
Make the smallest movements,
And i wonder what you see behind them.
Is it me?

Is it us? 

I see the corners of your mouth
Curve up slightly.
I imagine you smiling at me. 
I smile.
I trace the curves of your ears and 
Lips and eyebrows and the tip of your nose
With the lightest touch of my fingertips.
I take in every small detail.
I don't want to forget anything
When you're gone. 


 I hear the familiar rumble of your truck pulling into the drive and i breathe a sigh of comfort. My heart starts racing as I stand up from the couch and put my book down.  It is then that I realize the huge, natural smile on my face. I can't help it.  I run to the door, swing it open, and the breeze  that flows past me makes me catch my breath.  I see your handsome face grinning back at me behind the glass of your windshield, and before I even have a second to realize what I am doing, I hear the gravel crunching under my feet with every quick step taken. I am running to you. You stop the ignition, hop out of the truck, slam the door behind you and drop your things to get ready to catch me.  When our arms meet, my body lets out an excited squeal as you spin me around. In that moment, nothing matters but you, and us. You put me down and my lips immediately search for yours.  They meet. I had been waiting for this all day. I could tell by the tightening of your arms around me that you had been too, and in between kisses I smile and whisper the words that my body was already screaming. " are home...I....have missed you...all day". We walk into the house, hand in hand, and you open the door for me.  I offer to take your jacket, and when you thank me, I peck you on the cheek. I return for hanging up your coat in the closet and our embrace is repeated. I lead you, slowly, into the kitchen, still holding each other, to the cookies I had baked you earlier.  They were snickerdoodles, your very favorite.  You beam at me, as you take one from the tray, take a bite, and kiss me again.  You ask me how you got so lucky, as I am thinking the very same thing about you.  I am almost too distracted by your blue eyes to notice the crumbs all over your face, as you tell me about your day. I take a napkin off the counter and quickly clean up your face as you ramble on about how annoying it is that you always beat everyone at everything at work.  I am not surprised.  You never cease to impress me though.  You pick up a few more, and I tell you teasingly to save room for dinner. I am in your arms again, and you kiss my forehead, and thank me.  You ask me how much time we have before dinner, and almost immediately after the words "a couple of hours" came out of my mouth, you swept me up into your arms and headed for the bedroom. Gently, you laid me on the bed.  I closed my eyes and pressed my face into your neck, inhaling deeply, taking in your smell. Even after all this time, every touch feels new.  Every kiss sill gives me butterflies. We sneak under the blankets and get as close to each other as physically possible. When we hear the dinner timer go off, we reluctantly get up, and you set the table as I dish up the plates.  Everything is so natural, like we had done it a million times before.  Sitting across from me, you catch my eye every chance you get.  You wink at me and tell me I am the prettiest cook you have ever seen.  I laugh and imagine doing this same thing when we are eighty. Eventually, we go into our room and get ready for bed. Standing next to you, brushing our teeth, I can't help but think about how adorable our children will be, and how proud they will be of their daddy being a soldier. I lay my head on your chest and close my eyes.  I can hear the beating of your heart as I fall asleep.  You run your fingers through my hair.  I look up at you, and kiss you one last time.  I place my head back and listen to you breathing.  I can tell you have fallen asleep, so I look out the window, at all the stars, and think about forever with you.  I close my eyes for the last time and start to drift off, hoping that it will be you I dream about, so that I won't have to miss you.